Finding HOPE While Living with Loss
Loss has visited close to home recently. From a good friend who lost her mom to a dear friend who lost her battle with cancer. Loss is difficult for everyone.
How do we find hope in the midst of loss is a difficult question to struggle with? I have experienced hope during loss in a couple of different ways.
Sometimes there is hope even after loss when there is also new life.
The birth of my grandkids brought some hope even in the season of grieving the loss of my own children through miscarriage.
Their little lives brought joy and laughter even through the time of sadness. I have also had a new a new dog bring hope and comfort when I have lost my best dog friend.
Most often I have experienced hope after loss through encounters with my Loving Father. Some of the greatest losses in my life have been followed by hope filled experiences with God’s love.
When my mom passed away, though she had been sick for 12 years, it seemed like a shock. I was not ready to let her go.
She died on a Saturday evening and the next morning while worshiping and grieving during church service, God blessed me with the reminder that Mom was worshiping that morning too.
She had been nonverbal for at least the last 8 years of her life (due to Alzheimer’s disease) so the thought of her standing at the feet of Jesus singing praises to Him face to face brought amazing comfort and joy.
The grief was made more bearable with the reminder of where she was that morning and for eternity yet to come.
The second time I experienced God’s great comfort was just a couple of years ago, when I was still struggling with the grief of losing my only children by miscarriage.
It was a difficult struggle for years, there were so many unanswered questions. Why would the Lord let me get pregnant only to lose my children before they ever got to take their first breath and experience my love for them.
I had so many hopes and dreams. Being a mom had been the desire of my heart for as long as I could remember.
Again, the Lord graciously reminded me that their death was not the end of their life. They were safe with Him and my Mom in heaven. When that truth came to me the overwhelming peace that followed was beyond description.
I had struggled for so long with questions and confusion regarding this loss but all of that became unimportant. They were ok and I would meet them someday, peace & hope replaced all the anger and confusion that had just been there.
Today as I grieve the passing of my friend and grieve the disappearing of my dad, I find hope in the character of God. I know that God is Good.
I know that God loves me no matter what happens in this life, and that truth motivates me to hold on to HOPE today and the many days to come.
How do you find Hope, even in the midst of grief?
My entire life like most little girls I have always wanted to be a mommy. I never imagined I would be a mom of 2 precious children I never got to hold, cuddle, kiss or even have to discipline.
After my first marriage ended I was still hopeful I would remarry and have children. No I would not be the young mom I thought I would be but I never dreamed I would not be a mom someday.
Then it happened. Ron and I had been married over 2 years and I was finally pregnant. If you have struggled with infertility you know what the monthly rollercoaster ride is like. I didn’t even bother to take a test until I as a few weeks late. We were so excited! I was so sick.
It was an answered to many hours of prayers for sure.
Then it happened. Just the Friday before our fist doctor’s appointment, I started spotting. It wasn’t much so I was totally unprepared for the news that Monday.
As the nurse did the ultrasound she told us there were twins. But the look on her face was not one of joy, rather concern. Our first baby, Isaac, looked to have stop developing at a little less than 8 weeks. The second baby, Lillian, was much bigger, at least 10 weeks old but there was no movement. The doctor came in to confirm neither of them had made it.
I was in shock. My heart was shattered! How could this be happening? They were the answer to my prayers!
After losing the twins life went on and I did my best to trust God in this and wait for my chance to be a mom. The longer time went by and we still were not pregnant the more my heart crumbled. I had been through tough stuff before and always found God Good but this time I struggled.
How could God give me two babies and never let me hold them, play with them, or even celebrate their life? It felt cruel not good! I really struggled getting past it.
Thankfully I had a good friend who lead me to the lap of God and encouraged me to ask Him to understand. Our father always wants to talk to us and bring healing, we often just don’t know how to ask for it.
That day my Lord helped me to see His eternal perspective. He had answered my prayer. I am a mom. In my mind’s eye and in my heart He showed me my two beautiful children. They were on his lap laughing and happy. He reminded me that just because they did not grow up here on earth did not mean they didn’t exist; they just went on ahead.
They are waiting for me in heaven and we will spend eternity together.
That day I started to call them by name, Isaac & Lillian and I embraced motherhood. Mother’s Day has always been a difficult holiday for me. Between losing my mom to an Alzheimer’s diagnosis at 16 and the struggle of infertility and now miscarriage I would rather just sleep all day to be honest.
But now I have the vision of my mom, Isaac and Lillian all together in Heaven with my Lord and I praise my Great God for answered prayer.
Of course I would rather have had them live here with me first but I know that God is faithful, loving and good and I trust that eternity will be long enough!
Is there something that you have experienced that doesn’t make sense or goes against the character of God? Go to Him. Ask to understand, He will give you clarity around the situation if you ask with an open heart. People often stay stuck in the whys of hurts when clarity can help you move forward. Clarity gives us hope.
Being able to ask God what I needed to heal gave me clarity and brought healing I wasn’t even sure was possible.
When has God met you in a place that helped you find clarity?