4 Tips for Embracing Goodbyes and Fresh Starts

January is the time of fresh starts.  Many people enjoy a fresh start, I’m not sure that I am one of them. 

To me a fresh start means letting go of what has been normal or at least the known, it might not have been great, or bad, or good, maybe just somewhere in between but it was known and I like that.

Starting things new always leaves me feeling concerned.  Will I be able to do it?  Will I like it as well as the old way?  Will I miss what I have done before?  These are just a few questions that lead to my concern.

I have learned strategies to help me leave the concerns behind and embrace the new:

1. Watch my question/thinking-

The questions we ask ourselves can determine what direction our thoughts go so we need to be aware of those questions. (See Question Thinking for more

When I am feeling concerned about changes I ask myself questions that will help me to see all the possibilities in the new situation.  I also make sure that I don’t allow myself to dwell on the questions that lead down the path of what if.  Stay in the here and now so as not to get stuck in a pit of despair.

2.  Have a Thankful Heart-

We know from brain research that we see more of what we are looking for.  When our focus is on all the blessings in our lives we see even more of them.  They are there whether we are looking for them or not. 
So during a change, I try to take the time to be even more intentional in focusing on all I have to be thankful for. 

If you need some help with this one check out my Review by Rayna on The Kindness Challenge.  It is a great read.

3.  Consult Wise Counsel-

Proverbs 11:14 tells us “Without good direction, people lose their way;  the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” (The Message)

I’m so thankful for friendships and mentor relationships that poor into my life!  I encourage you to take a look at the relationships in your life that pour into you.  Be sure you have a council of wise souls to walk with you through life and especially change.

4.  Prayer. 

Yep, you probably knew this would be on the list.  When I take the time to listen in prayer then I am always more ready to embrace new. 

The Lord is faithful to meet us where we are and guide us to where He has for us to go.  Seeking His counsel is most important and impactful in my life.

So change is here
A new season has dawned my childhood home is being sold. 
The place I spent 43 years calling home. 
The place I grew up. 
The place I played dolls, studied my spelling words, shot baskets and mowed the grass.
The place I spent hours with my Mom listening to music and caring for her. 
The place I enjoyed ping pong, baseball and loving my Dad well until his last breath will soon be someone else’s home. 
When I think about another family making great memories in our home it makes me smile. 

I am so thankful for all that 18605 E 28th Street South meant to me and my family and I pray it will be a blessing to them also.

As I am grieving this one more loss, I am trying to stay focused on the blessings of now!  I have wonderful memories of a great childhood, lots of hugs and kisses, and a home that has been there for a really long time.  More importantly, I have a home with Farmer, filled with love, laughter, and many memories as well. 

I will never forget the old but I am focusing forward on all the blessings yet to come. 

Goodbyes are not easy no matter what kind they are but they do open up room for Hellos! 

So I’m moving on in anticipation of what 2019 will bring- thanks to thinking right, being grateful, and consulting wise friends and of course my Lord.

 

What things have you found are helpful for you to embrace goodbyes and new beginnings?  Share your comments below. Thanks! 

Are you ready for 2019?

Are you looking forward to 2019?

I started off 2018 with some of you focusing on what I wanted it to be in the Be Group!  We took to time to really think about who we are and what we want to become by drafting our Personal Manifestos.

I choose to end my manifesto with the statement:  I will find JOY Always!

At the time I was not sure exactly why JOY was my word for the year but I knew the Lord wanted me to focus on JOY.
Joy popped up in many places from a t-shirt that said “Choose Joy” in Washington DC while on the March for Life to a fun sign that lights up.

It wasn’t too long before the weekend with Dad became very difficult.  He was often not nice and I was having a hard time remembering to focus on the joy.

When I would bring it before the Lord He would whisper, focus on the joy!  Both the struggle and joy are both present.

Throughout the first 6 months of the year, that truth was needed over and over again.  After Dad’s passing, it became even more important to my daily life.

What brings you joy?  Here are just a few things I have focused on:

  • Owen & Novalee
  • my clients
  • Farmer
  • my sister and her family
  • Praise and Worship songs
  • my church family
  • my dogs
  • Mexican food
  • chocolate
  • sleeping in

Life is filled with many joys even in the middle of the tough stuff.

I’m thankful that in 2018 I was able to find the joy!

Would you like to start out 2019 with more purpose and vision than any other year?  You can.  

 

Join me in the Be Peacefilled in 2019 Group.

We will be meeting on Thursdays @ 7pm CT for 5 weeks. By being a part of the group you will learn to:

 

 

   

Check out the details!  I would love to have you be a part!

Learn More

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL ENDS JAN 3RD!

How Are You Being Made Perfect?

 

I often say God gave me curly hair to remind me every morning how little control I really have in life.

 

I love my curly hair, I really do.  I just want it to curl perfectly the same on both sides.  Is that asking for too much?  Yep, yep it is.  (So I decided if I make both sides of my hair different it wouldn’t bug me so much and I love it this way.}

I like my eyeliner to be perfect too.  Oh, and the fit of my clothes and the style of my jewelry with each outfit.

 

Perfect, that’s how I like it.

 

How do you define perfect?

When we really stop and think about it perfect is very subjective.  Your idea of perfect and my idea of perfect are not the same.

In fact, my husband would say that my hair looks exactly the same every day.  I’m sure he would think it is styled it perfectly each day.  For me most days it is just as good as it is going to get.

Perfect is an interesting word, it can be used as a noun, verb or adjective.  Perfect as a verb is an act of making something free from faults and defects, or as close to such a condition as possible while the adjective has two meanings having all the desirable elements, qualities, and characteristics, as good as it is able to be or absolute, complete.  (per the online dictionary)

I don’t know about you, but I was surprised to see in the definition any reference to as good or as close as it can get.  In my mind, things are either perfect (flawless) or they are not.  I’m settling when I am accepting something that is as close as possible.

 

There is a very fine line between trying our best and being a perfectionist. 

 

Because perfection is subjective, I dare to say most of us struggle with perfectionism more than we realize.  Listening to our self-talk will probably help us to identify how real the struggle is for us.

Some woman dress perfectly each day and still aren’t happy with how they look.  Criticizing their reflection in the mirror every time they see it.

Some keep a spotless house but still worry that others are judging how long it has been since they have washed the windows.

Others avoid talking about family because they don’t want others to realize how heartbroken they are over a parodical child or addicted sibling.

The search for perfection is a discouraging and pointless pursuit.

 

The best news is the Lord actually took care of our greatest need per Hebrews 10:14

For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. 

(The Message)

 

I’m so thankful He is making me holy through His sacrifice.  It is a process for sure though. 

 

 

When we invite the Lord into our areas of perfectionism He helps us see things differently.

When looking in the mirror we see a beautiful woman created in His image with unique and special physical features.

When looking around her home she sees the blessing of the roof over here head, the people he has placed in her family, and the many special memories created there.

When thinking of your wayward loved one you remember to lift them up in prayer and ask your friends to join you in praying.

In what ways is the Lord perfecting you in this area of perfectionism?

 

Join me in next months Book Chat and Facebook Community as we explore Kathi and Cheri's book and how we can stop trying harder and start living braver.

Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory wrote a book called The Cure for the Perfect Life where they examine what Try-Harder Living has done to rob us of our joy and made nothing in life quite good enough.  They point out that there are 4 bullies that are the main culprits:  Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, Performancism and Procrastination.

Have you exercised for 30 minutes today?

We all know we need to exercise at least 30 minutes per day.  How do you think your questions about exercising effect your outcome?

Let me share an experience with you…..

Yesterday…..

3:00 pm, I asked myself do I feel like exercising today?  Not really.

Well I know I should. When can I fit it in the busy afternoon and evening I have planned?  There is no time.  I will do it tomorrow.

Today….

It’s 8 o’clock, time to exercise.  Do I want to do the elliptical, yoga or BodyGroove today?  Grooving gives me the most steps.

How many steps do I have today?  4,929 ok I better get busy.

Are these shoes the best choice today?  No

Where are my tennis shoes?  In the closet, off I go to get them on and get to it.

The first question I asked myself changed where my next question went.

That one question leads me to a place that let me skip exercising without a whole lot of thought. The second one lead to questions that helped me arrive at an answer that was best for me.

What questions are you asking yourself when it comes to exercise?

Stop and think about it today. 


I would love to hear what you have discovered about your questions and the results you are getting.

What interesting thing are you going to do with your lemons?

You have heard it said, that when life gives you lemons just make lemonade. maya angelou quote graphic

I found this quote by Maya Angelou and I like it even better, after all I love lemon pie.

Back on topic….

It seems that some people find it easier to make something of the lemons of life than others do.

Lemon meringue pie, lemon bars, lemon shortbread cookies or lemonade, it isn’t important what you make.  It is important that you learn to make the best of the lemons life hands you.  The best way to do this is to Change Your Thinking!

I can see your eye roll now.  I know it sounds too simple.  But think about it…..

We have all experienced something difficult in life at the same time someone we know or love has been right there experiencing it too.  Did you both respond the same way?

You had the same parents and upbringing as your sibling/s, do you remember it the same way?

You and your coworker lost your job the same day the business laid you all off and closed its doors.  Did you rebound the same?

Why is the same event experienced differently? 

When life hands us a lemon the questions we ask ourselves will determine what happens next.  Marilee Adams, PHD says that the questions we ask ourselves determines our actions and finally our results.

 

I’m not saying just think positive and everything will be fine.  I have lived life too long to believe it is that simple but I do think how we think is an important part of learning to live with peace and hope no matter what life brings.

 

So what interesting things are you going to make with you lemons?  Do you need some help learning to think differently about life’s lemons?

Don’t miss my upcoming opportunity to learn more about how your thinking impacts your relationships and success at work.

I would love to have you join me as we explore Marliee Adams, PHD concept of Question Thinking during the month of August.  I will be highlighting Question Thinking and then offering a workshop opportunity on how to make this powerful shift in your thinking.

Think Question Change Coming Soon

Be sure to like and mark Take Heart Transitions as see first on Facebook .

 Like Take Heart HERE

 

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