How Are You Being Made Perfect?

 

I often say God gave me curly hair to remind me every morning how little control I really have in life.

 

I love my curly hair, I really do.  I just want it to curl perfectly the same on both sides.  Is that asking for too much?  Yep, yep it is.  (So I decided if I make both sides of my hair different it wouldn’t bug me so much and I love it this way.}

I like my eyeliner to be perfect too.  Oh, and the fit of my clothes and the style of my jewelry with each outfit.

 

Perfect, that’s how I like it.

 

How do you define perfect?

When we really stop and think about it perfect is very subjective.  Your idea of perfect and my idea of perfect are not the same.

In fact, my husband would say that my hair looks exactly the same every day.  I’m sure he would think it is styled it perfectly each day.  For me most days it is just as good as it is going to get.

Perfect is an interesting word, it can be used as a noun, verb or adjective.  Perfect as a verb is an act of making something free from faults and defects, or as close to such a condition as possible while the adjective has two meanings having all the desirable elements, qualities, and characteristics, as good as it is able to be or absolute, complete.  (per the online dictionary)

I don’t know about you, but I was surprised to see in the definition any reference to as good or as close as it can get.  In my mind, things are either perfect (flawless) or they are not.  I’m settling when I am accepting something that is as close as possible.

 

There is a very fine line between trying our best and being a perfectionist. 

 

Because perfection is subjective, I dare to say most of us struggle with perfectionism more than we realize.  Listening to our self-talk will probably help us to identify how real the struggle is for us.

Some woman dress perfectly each day and still aren’t happy with how they look.  Criticizing their reflection in the mirror every time they see it.

Some keep a spotless house but still worry that others are judging how long it has been since they have washed the windows.

Others avoid talking about family because they don’t want others to realize how heartbroken they are over a parodical child or addicted sibling.

The search for perfection is a discouraging and pointless pursuit.

 

The best news is the Lord actually took care of our greatest need per Hebrews 10:14

For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. 

(The Message)

 

I’m so thankful He is making me holy through His sacrifice.  It is a process for sure though. 

 

 

When we invite the Lord into our areas of perfectionism He helps us see things differently.

When looking in the mirror we see a beautiful woman created in His image with unique and special physical features.

When looking around her home she sees the blessing of the roof over here head, the people he has placed in her family, and the many special memories created there.

When thinking of your wayward loved one you remember to lift them up in prayer and ask your friends to join you in praying.

In what ways is the Lord perfecting you in this area of perfectionism?

 

Join me in next months Book Chat and Facebook Community as we explore Kathi and Cheri's book and how we can stop trying harder and start living braver.

Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory wrote a book called The Cure for the Perfect Life where they examine what Try-Harder Living has done to rob us of our joy and made nothing in life quite good enough.  They point out that there are 4 bullies that are the main culprits:  Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, Performancism and Procrastination.

Have you exercised for 30 minutes today?

We all know we need to exercise at least 30 minutes per day.  How do you think your questions about exercising effect your outcome?

Let me share an experience with you…..

Yesterday…..

3:00 pm, I asked myself do I feel like exercising today?  Not really.

Well I know I should. When can I fit it in the busy afternoon and evening I have planned?  There is no time.  I will do it tomorrow.

Today….

It’s 8 o’clock, time to exercise.  Do I want to do the elliptical, yoga or BodyGroove today?  Grooving gives me the most steps.

How many steps do I have today?  4,929 ok I better get busy.

Are these shoes the best choice today?  No

Where are my tennis shoes?  In the closet, off I go to get them on and get to it.

The first question I asked myself changed where my next question went.

That one question leads me to a place that let me skip exercising without a whole lot of thought. The second one lead to questions that helped me arrive at an answer that was best for me.

What questions are you asking yourself when it comes to exercise?

Stop and think about it today. 


I would love to hear what you have discovered about your questions and the results you are getting.

What interesting thing are you going to do with your lemons?

You have heard it said, that when life gives you lemons just make lemonade. maya angelou quote graphic

I found this quote by Maya Angelou and I like it even better, after all I love lemon pie.

Back on topic….

It seems that some people find it easier to make something of the lemons of life than others do.

Lemon meringue pie, lemon bars, lemon shortbread cookies or lemonade, it isn’t important what you make.  It is important that you learn to make the best of the lemons life hands you.  The best way to do this is to Change Your Thinking!

I can see your eye roll now.  I know it sounds too simple.  But think about it…..

We have all experienced something difficult in life at the same time someone we know or love has been right there experiencing it too.  Did you both respond the same way?

You had the same parents and upbringing as your sibling/s, do you remember it the same way?

You and your coworker lost your job the same day the business laid you all off and closed its doors.  Did you rebound the same?

Why is the same event experienced differently? 

When life hands us a lemon the questions we ask ourselves will determine what happens next.  Marilee Adams, PHD says that the questions we ask ourselves determines our actions and finally our results.

 

I’m not saying just think positive and everything will be fine.  I have lived life too long to believe it is that simple but I do think how we think is an important part of learning to live with peace and hope no matter what life brings.

 

So what interesting things are you going to make with you lemons?  Do you need some help learning to think differently about life’s lemons?

Don’t miss my upcoming opportunity to learn more about how your thinking impacts your relationships and success at work.

I would love to have you join me as we explore Marliee Adams, PHD concept of Question Thinking during the month of August.  I will be highlighting Question Thinking and then offering a workshop opportunity on how to make this powerful shift in your thinking.

Think Question Change Coming Soon

Be sure to like and mark Take Heart Transitions as see first on Facebook .

 Like Take Heart HERE

 

Review by Rayna: The Kindness Challenge

The Kindness Challenge:  30 Days to Improve Any Relationship

 


I am a big fan of Shaunti Feldhahn’s books.  I love the way research helps us understand ourselves and others better.  The Kindness Challenge is no different!

One of the most interesting facts Shaunti’s researched revealed has to so a common fact people who thrive possess.  “Whether we thrive depends far more on how we choose to treat others than on how we ourselves are treated.” “The place to our happy place starts with one choice, Werther or not to be kind.  Especially when we really don’t want to.”  (p. 1)

 

 

This finding really struck me.  Much is said about the good old days and one of the things I have noticed is that common courtesy seems to be a thing of the past.  People don’t seem to do much of what they don’t feel like it.

This book challenges us to go back to this practice in very small ways.  Think about focusing on the best in those around us.  Think about how we can offer kindness each and everyday.

 

The Kindness Challenge was written after 10 years of challenging people to do 3 simple, as in not complex, items.  The 3 things they were challenged to do were 1.  Say nothing negative, either to your person or about them to someone else.  2.  Every day, find one positive thing that you can sincerely praise or affirm about your person and tell them, and tell someone else.  3.   Every day, do a small act of kindness or generosity for your person.

 

Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it?  The research shows that there is amazing impact on our relationships when we are more kind.

 

Shaunti found that we are more unkind than we realize.  Being unkind is much more acceptable in our world than being mean is.  Unkindness can take on many different forms.   I found the list of 7 negative habits we don’t even realize we have was very helpful.  There is no doubt that practicing these 7 things can definitely make us more focused on the negatives in our lives.  Do you do any of these 7?  1.  The knee jerk reaction that things will be hard.  2.  Exasperation, Irritation, & Pointing out mistakes 3.  Sarcasm.  4.  Grumble, Grumble.  5.  You Hurt Me, I Hurt You.  6.  Suspicion.  7.  Catastrophizing.  Some of these are habits I need to pay more attention to, others are not as hard for me.

I am joining the Kindness Challenge, will you join me?

I would love to have you join me on Take Heart Transitions Facebook page in sharing your experience on the 30 Day Kindness Challenge.  There are lots of great resources available at http://www.jointhekindnesschallenge.com/

Sign up today & then share on FB.

Review by Rayna: Looking for Lovely

Looking for Lovely:Collecting the Moments that Matter

Annie F.  Downs is another of those authors who shares the true nitty gritty of her life.

She lays it all out in this latest book.  Though a popular author she found herself in a place she calls her broken crazy.  Her honest sharing of the journey to finding herself in a place that she can love and embrace herself and her life through finding the lovely in the middle of the hard.  At the end of each chapter she challenged the reader to look for lovely in their everyday life as well.

I must admit that Annie’s style of storytelling is very compelling but I the overall story seemed disjointed to me.  I did love the way she tied it all together at the end of the book.  One of the most important statements she made was, “When I found lovely in me and in the world, it changed everything.” This book was her journey to this realization.

 

Annie classified herself as a quitter.  Realizing that everyone does not view quitting the same way she did caused her to seek people who were not quitters and learn from them.  She found nonquitters define it differently.  Nonquitters don’t quit when it gets hard, they just take a pause and then go back to it again. They keep trying until they get it.  She could not relate but she did desire to understand perseverance and develop it.

Endings was one of the areas of Annie’s life which was hard.  They made her want to quit.  Quit developing new relationships, quit the hard work of caring for others.  By learning to persevere she learned to live with both the hard and the good.  She shared that what helped her learn to finish is to see God in the people you meet and in the moments, you have to let them leave.  Believe God, He is who holds things together, including those friendships, those memories and your heart.

Grace was a lesson Annie had focused earlier in her life so adding perseverance to grace led her to an even greater understanding of both.  All grace can make you lazy but all perseverance can cause you to be judgmental.  Grace with perseverance gives you permission to not be perfect but to strive toward excellence. They can even be partners to bring growth.

In the end, Annie calls us all to be the type of woman who is “Locking eyes with the one who has choose me.  We have looked for lovely and found it.  We have resolved to be the kind of women who do not quit, who do not give up, but women who strengthen our minds and our hearts to let the work God is doing in us come to completion.”

I highly recommend this book to young adults.  Her communication style and life experiences will be one many millennials will definitely relate to.

To Order from Amazon Click Here*

This is an affiliate link.

CALL ME
+
Call me!

Pin It on Pinterest