How to Settle In During a Hard Transition

How to Settle In During a Hard Transition…

According to Bella

Just 4 months ago Bella joined our Neises pack.  Bella is an 8-year-old pug.  I am a pug lover and had been looking for a female black pug to adopt for a couple of years.  Life had gotten too busy for her former family and they decided it was best for her to find a new home.  R Farm was just the right retirement home for her.

Moving to a new home is a BIG transition for anyone, even a dog.

This transition has been a challenging one for Miss Bella.  Since her move was something she couldn’t prepare for or even understand I think it was especially hard on her.

After Bella came home to live on the farm she became very frantic.  The panic got even worse when she couldn’t see me.

It took over a month before she would even stay in a room when I walked out of it.   It is hard to even describe how upset she became when I had to leave her.

Today she is doing much better.  She loves to relax on the back of the couch and look out the window.  She still sticks rather close, but she is even willing to go on short adventures around the farm.

I am still her favorite safe place, but trust is growing, and she seems to be embracing life as a Neises and all that entails.

As I sit in my prayer chair with Bella snuggled in my lap the Lord shared some special things with me about our relationship.  He brought this verse to mind and then shared with me how life with Bella has shown me this verse in a very real way.

Joshua 1:9 says “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Making big transitions in life is so much easier when you know the Lord.  When we make transitions, we can often be stressed by all the changes.

Like Bella, we can run around searching for anything that makes us feel safe.  Make sure you run to Him.  He is the only one who is always there, and He always knows what is going on in our lives.

 Be strong and courageous.

Learning to stand strong in your faith and courageous in the midst of change is an important habit to develop.

Find your comfy couch….Learn to rest and relax in Him.

Just because we can’t see Him doesn’t mean He isn’t there providing and protecting us.  Remember even in the difficult times we can rest in the confidence of His love.  As Bella has learned to enjoy lap time with me and time alone on the couch we need both too.

Time just sitting with the Lord, listening to His loving words and singing praises to Him is a must to grow in faith and trust in Him.  This faith and trust bring the courage to not be afraid even when we don’t understand what is happening in our lives.

Do not be afraid,

With fear behind you like Bella, it is ok to explore and to try new things.  If everything you have known has changed then I know you aren’t feeling much like exploring, you are actually longing to settle into a new safe routine.

Try a mindset shift, it will help you embrace the change.  Keeping in mind the Lord is everywhere.  There is nothing to fear.  These truths can help you make that shift so you can leave fear behind.

For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

I love how the Lord helps me learn in the most personal ways. I hope you find the lessons Bella has helped me remember have blessed you as well.


I would really like to hear how you have experienced peace in the midst of change in your life.  Please Share below.

 

If you find yourself in transition without peace I would love to talk with you about how coaching can help you learn that there is hope when life stinks! Let’s Talk.  Contact Me

Review by Rayna: Find the Good

Finding the Good:

Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer

 

Find the Good was written by Heather Lende a long time obituary writer.  I really enjoyed this unusual book.

Re-framing situations and events is a skill taught in coaching.  Re-frame means to look at something in a new perspective.  I was impressed with Heather’s ability to re-frame the tragedies that brought her into these people’s lives at that moment.  Her 30,000 foot view of the person’s life brings such comfort and wisdom.

Find the Good is filled with wonderful stories and golden nuggets of truth.   Heather was asked to write a short essay describing one piece of wisdom to live by.  After spending time thinking about what would important to share she boiled it down to Find the Good.  From this simple concept Heather wrote this book.

After years of interviewing families during one of the most difficult days of their life she developed the knack for finding the good.  Though the end of someone’s life might be tragic for any one of many reasons, she has found the power of discovering how to find the good in their life and share it in a wonderful way.

Some of the chapters included in this book are Stop and Smell the Fish, Draw Lines in the Sand So You Can Move Them, and Listen to Your Mother.  Each chapter has a story of an obituary and ends with the conclusion that brings it down to the title she gave the chapter.

I can’t say I have ever read many obituaries in my life.  And I know I have never read ones written with so much care and desire to honor.  Heather’s unique view of life and death brings great perspective. I hope you enjoy this fun read as much as I did.

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Review by Rayna: Anxious for Nothing

Anxious for Nothing:Finding Calm in a Chaotic World

I just love Max Lucado.  If you have not read his books this is a good place to start.  Max has a relaxed friendly style of dealing with some tough topics.  Anxious for Nothing is a book that addresses the struggles many face with anxiety in this crazy day and age.

Most people would agree, you are anxious.  Max assures us that anxiety and fear are cousins not twins by clearly laying out some contracts between the two.  Fear sees a threat, anxiety imagines one.  Fear results in fight or flight, anxiety creates doom and gloom.  Anxiety can twist us into emotional pretzels.

He then goes on to encourage us to use the scriptures to help us move out of that state of anxiety.  Philippians 4:6-8 tells us to be anxious for nothing.  This verse is written in present active tense, implying this is an ongoing state.

 

Don’t let anything in life leave you perpetually breathless and in angst. (Lucado’s version of this verse.)

Paul’s words give us a plan for being anxious for nothing:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:4-8

This book examines this verse in bite size pieces with many great real-life stories that help to bring the truth of the scripture to life.  I will share just a couple of my favorite things from the book.

 

First Max lays out the acronym CALM.  Using Phil 4:6-7 to find CALM:   Celebrate, Ask, Leave, Mediate

Celebrate on

Ask God for Help

Leave your Concerns with Him

Meditate on good things, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise.

So why don’t you try it?  Write CALM in a place you will see it, so when you are feeling less than calm, you can use it to celebrate, ask, leave and meditate.

Last there is a great section in this book is where Lucado explores choice. 

He states, “you can pick what to ponder.  You did not choose your parents, you cannot determine the weather but you can choose what you think about.”  He goes on to challenge.  “Do you want to be happy tomorrow? Then choose happy today…. Count your blessings, sing hymns, pray, spend time with others who are positive.?  These things will set you up for happiness.  I Love this.

If anxiety is a struggle for you then I highly recommend this read to help you find an alternative to living anxious.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

3 Ways an Observer Hat Helps Me Love Better

The Think. Question. Change. Workshop just finished up.  One of the key concepts we discussed was Marilee Adam’s Question Thinking.  During a two-week time period, we exercised getting into an observer mindset to interact with our world.

As an observer, you are detached from your own thoughts and feelings.  Being able to move into an observer mindset opens up the possibility of making choices rather than reacting to the world around us.Love one another John 13:34-5

Wearing my observer hat got me thinking about how I can best live out the command to love one another. 

Give the benefit of the doubt.

When I am wearing my observer hat, I don’t judge others. I can give them the benefit of the doubt.  My nature is to judge whether I have any knowledge about the person or situation.

For example, when I see someone who is not dressed appropriately I can judge them or begin to ask questions that might lead me to love.  I have been volunteering with an organization called Dress for Success for a few years now.

The mission of Dress for Success is to empower women to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support, professional attire and the development tools to help women thrive in work and in life.  Through working with these women, I have found that there is so much more going on in their lives than I can even imagine.  Offering them support by helping them with their resume or interview skills is really an act of love which will do more for them than judgement ever would.

Now my goal is to extend others that love without having to understand their situation.

Do not withhold forgiveness.

When I have my observer hat on I can’t jump to the conclusion that someone is hurting me on purpose versus just acting in ignorance.

I don’t think I have thin skin but I can get my feelings hurt, like you can I’m sure.  When we are observing someone’s behavior and looking to respond in love then we will extend grace. Giving grace beyond the place we would have if we weren’t being intentional.

Forgiveness is not fun to ask for so don’t make someone ask.  I have found that if I can offer love and forgiveness immediately I just need to do it.

If the offense needs discussion then opening the conversation with questions about what was going on when the offense took place is helpful.  Just learning the back story can often give me the understanding I need to overlook it.

Keep my word.

The other side of the coin of offering forgiveness is behaving in a way that doesn’t require others to need to forgive you.  In this busy world, we can often overlook our commitments to others.

Jesus said let your yes be yes.  Loving others includes respecting them enough to do what you say you will do.  Take the time to consider your words and actions before speaking.  Once your word is given the decision has been made- in love follow through.

I have found being a person, someone can count on is one of the most loving things I can do for others.


What areas of your life do you see that wearing an observer hat and being intentional in your actions can be loving to those around you?

 

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