Have you exercised for 30 minutes today?

We all know we need to exercise at least 30 minutes per day.  How do you think your questions about exercising effect your outcome?

Let me share an experience with you…..

Yesterday…..

3:00 pm, I asked myself do I feel like exercising today?  Not really.

Well I know I should. When can I fit it in the busy afternoon and evening I have planned?  There is no time.  I will do it tomorrow.

Today….

It’s 8 o’clock, time to exercise.  Do I want to do the elliptical, yoga or BodyGroove today?  Grooving gives me the most steps.

How many steps do I have today?  4,929 ok I better get busy.

Are these shoes the best choice today?  No

Where are my tennis shoes?  In the closet, off I go to get them on and get to it.

The first question I asked myself changed where my next question went.

That one question leads me to a place that let me skip exercising without a whole lot of thought. The second one lead to questions that helped me arrive at an answer that was best for me.

What questions are you asking yourself when it comes to exercise?

Stop and think about it today. 


I would love to hear what you have discovered about your questions and the results you are getting.

What interesting thing are you going to do with your lemons?

You have heard it said, that when life gives you lemons just make lemonade. maya angelou quote graphic

I found this quote by Maya Angelou and I like it even better, after all I love lemon pie.

Back on topic….

It seems that some people find it easier to make something of the lemons of life than others do.

Lemon meringue pie, lemon bars, lemon shortbread cookies or lemonade, it isn’t important what you make.  It is important that you learn to make the best of the lemons life hands you.  The best way to do this is to Change Your Thinking!

I can see your eye roll now.  I know it sounds too simple.  But think about it…..

We have all experienced something difficult in life at the same time someone we know or love has been right there experiencing it too.  Did you both respond the same way?

You had the same parents and upbringing as your sibling/s, do you remember it the same way?

You and your coworker lost your job the same day the business laid you all off and closed its doors.  Did you rebound the same?

Why is the same event experienced differently? 

When life hands us a lemon the questions we ask ourselves will determine what happens next.  Marilee Adams, PHD says that the questions we ask ourselves determines our actions and finally our results.

 

I’m not saying just think positive and everything will be fine.  I have lived life too long to believe it is that simple but I do think how we think is an important part of learning to live with peace and hope no matter what life brings.

 

So what interesting things are you going to make with you lemons?  Do you need some help learning to think differently about life’s lemons?

Don’t miss my upcoming opportunity to learn more about how your thinking impacts your relationships and success at work.

I would love to have you join me as we explore Marliee Adams, PHD concept of Question Thinking during the month of August.  I will be highlighting Question Thinking and then offering a workshop opportunity on how to make this powerful shift in your thinking.

Think Question Change Coming Soon

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Review by Rayna: The Kindness Challenge

The Kindness Challenge:  30 Days to Improve Any Relationship

 


I am a big fan of Shaunti Feldhahn’s books.  I love the way research helps us understand ourselves and others better.  The Kindness Challenge is no different!

One of the most interesting facts Shaunti’s researched revealed has to so a common fact people who thrive possess.  “Whether we thrive depends far more on how we choose to treat others than on how we ourselves are treated.” “The place to our happy place starts with one choice, Werther or not to be kind.  Especially when we really don’t want to.”  (p. 1)

 

 

This finding really struck me.  Much is said about the good old days and one of the things I have noticed is that common courtesy seems to be a thing of the past.  People don’t seem to do much of what they don’t feel like it.

This book challenges us to go back to this practice in very small ways.  Think about focusing on the best in those around us.  Think about how we can offer kindness each and everyday.

 

The Kindness Challenge was written after 10 years of challenging people to do 3 simple, as in not complex, items.  The 3 things they were challenged to do were 1.  Say nothing negative, either to your person or about them to someone else.  2.  Every day, find one positive thing that you can sincerely praise or affirm about your person and tell them, and tell someone else.  3.   Every day, do a small act of kindness or generosity for your person.

 

Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it?  The research shows that there is amazing impact on our relationships when we are more kind.

 

Shaunti found that we are more unkind than we realize.  Being unkind is much more acceptable in our world than being mean is.  Unkindness can take on many different forms.   I found the list of 7 negative habits we don’t even realize we have was very helpful.  There is no doubt that practicing these 7 things can definitely make us more focused on the negatives in our lives.  Do you do any of these 7?  1.  The knee jerk reaction that things will be hard.  2.  Exasperation, Irritation, & Pointing out mistakes 3.  Sarcasm.  4.  Grumble, Grumble.  5.  You Hurt Me, I Hurt You.  6.  Suspicion.  7.  Catastrophizing.  Some of these are habits I need to pay more attention to, others are not as hard for me.

I am joining the Kindness Challenge, will you join me?

I would love to have you join me on Take Heart Transitions Facebook page in sharing your experience on the 30 Day Kindness Challenge.  There are lots of great resources available at http://www.jointhekindnesschallenge.com/

Sign up today & then share on FB.

Review by Rayna: Looking for Lovely

Looking for Lovely:Collecting the Moments that Matter

Annie F.  Downs is another of those authors who shares the true nitty gritty of her life.

She lays it all out in this latest book.  Though a popular author she found herself in a place she calls her broken crazy.  Her honest sharing of the journey to finding herself in a place that she can love and embrace herself and her life through finding the lovely in the middle of the hard.  At the end of each chapter she challenged the reader to look for lovely in their everyday life as well.

I must admit that Annie’s style of storytelling is very compelling but I the overall story seemed disjointed to me.  I did love the way she tied it all together at the end of the book.  One of the most important statements she made was, “When I found lovely in me and in the world, it changed everything.” This book was her journey to this realization.

 

Annie classified herself as a quitter.  Realizing that everyone does not view quitting the same way she did caused her to seek people who were not quitters and learn from them.  She found nonquitters define it differently.  Nonquitters don’t quit when it gets hard, they just take a pause and then go back to it again. They keep trying until they get it.  She could not relate but she did desire to understand perseverance and develop it.

Endings was one of the areas of Annie’s life which was hard.  They made her want to quit.  Quit developing new relationships, quit the hard work of caring for others.  By learning to persevere she learned to live with both the hard and the good.  She shared that what helped her learn to finish is to see God in the people you meet and in the moments, you have to let them leave.  Believe God, He is who holds things together, including those friendships, those memories and your heart.

Grace was a lesson Annie had focused earlier in her life so adding perseverance to grace led her to an even greater understanding of both.  All grace can make you lazy but all perseverance can cause you to be judgmental.  Grace with perseverance gives you permission to not be perfect but to strive toward excellence. They can even be partners to bring growth.

In the end, Annie calls us all to be the type of woman who is “Locking eyes with the one who has choose me.  We have looked for lovely and found it.  We have resolved to be the kind of women who do not quit, who do not give up, but women who strengthen our minds and our hearts to let the work God is doing in us come to completion.”

I highly recommend this book to young adults.  Her communication style and life experiences will be one many millennials will definitely relate to.

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3 Ways to Help Your Parents as They Age

“Honor your father and mother” (1)      Aging parents are a part of life, after all we all get older.  The difficult thing about getting older is that things seem to start wearing out.  All of us will reach a point where we can’t do what we used to, even to the point where we cannot take care of ourselves as we need to.

Watching a parent age can be very difficult but nothing is more difficult than the time in which you have to make the transition of stepping in to help your parent as they age.

I am in the that phase of life right now.  My dad is 83 and he has to have 24-hour care and companionship due to Alzheimer’s Disease.  Even if we were not dealing with this divesting disease, he would be reaching a time in life where he would need more help taking care of this home or even his health.

Here are 3 ways to gracefully handle this new phase of life:

  1. Realize you are not experiencing a role reversal.

Many people refer to this time in life as a role reversal, you become the parent and your parent becomes the child.  That is not true.  You parent is still your parent and always be.  They are just aging and are not able to do all the things they used to do for themselves.

As I have watched my dad’s disease progress I have been sure to keep our roles in the forefront of my mind.  He is my dad in need of my help not a child.  This has helped me stay present in the moment.  Instead of trying to reteach something or reacting to a mistake he makes over and over again in frustration. I try to just take a deep breath and remind myself he can’t help it.

It can be divesting to your parent to find themselves in a place where they can’t do all the things they used to do so easily.

How you treat them will make all the difference in the world.   No adult wants to be treated like a child! Though you might be doing things for your parent that you do for your children please remember this is the person who changed your diaper, taught you to walk and loved you through the teenage years.  They are still your parent!

  1. Always show honor to your parent.

Exodus 20:12 tells us to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”

There is no expiration date on this command.

Though this time of transition is difficult always keep in mind you are to treat them with honor.  There are so many changes happening in their life when you keep honor and respect as a part of your relationship it will make the changes easier to deal with.

As with all people, we need to treat our parents the same way we want to be treated.

As my family has faced the many changes brought about with age and disease I have always strived to keep the golden rule in mind.  Someday I will be the one needing help.  How would I want to be treated?

How would you feel if you were no longer allowed to drive and expected to give up your favorite activities?  Look for other options.  It might be time for your parent to stop driving but finding alternative transportation will be crucial to keeping them healthy.

My dad has always been very physically fit and he loves sports so when we reached the stage in his disease that the doctor said we needed to take away the keys I looked high and low to find someone to take over the part he could no longer do, drive.

He still loved participating in playing volleyball 3 times per week and work outing at the gym the other 3 days.  He was able to continue playing volleyball for 3 more years and he still lifts weights at the gym 3 times per week.  Needing more help in life meant he had to give up the keys but not the activities he loves so much.

Losing independence is difficult, treating your parent with honor will make it easier to accept.

  1. Appreciate them for who they are right now as well as who they have been to you your whole life.

We hear it over and over again but there is a lot of truth in the statement, stay in the moment.  Pooh has some wisdom to share in around this:

“What day is it?”
It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day,” said Pooh.”
― A.A. Milne

Staying in the moment with your parent can really help you emotionally deal with how much life has changed for you and your parent.  Make each day together a favorite day. 

We all love to have fun.  No matter our age laughter is good medicine for the soul.  Challenge yourself to find ways to have fun together.Dad ping pong 2016

As Dad became more limited in the things he could do we searched for other things he had enjoyed in the past.  I remembered playing ping pong with him when I was little so we gave it a try.  He loved it and was still really good.  Soon we replace the formal living room with a ping pong table.  It has been the source of tons of fun for us, as well as for the others caring for him.

All of us enjoy things we are good at much more than something that is a struggle.  Keep searching to find the things that still bring joy to your parent, it will create the opportunity for new good memories.

Appreciating them in the moment will help you cherish the time you spend with them now as you know they will not always be here.  Your time and support will mean more to your parent than you can imagine.

Watching our parents age is not easy no matter how you look at it.  I hope you have found my 3 tips to gracefully help your parents as they age helpful.

If you are facing challenges with this transition in your life, coaching might be just what you need to handle it better.  I would love to help.  Please contact me and we can set up a time to visit and see if coaching is a good fit for you.

If you have additional tips or ideas to deal with aging parents I would love to have you share them below.

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